Dear Khodayar, before the flames closed over you for the
last time your mind had been broken. The death of your friend, Nasim Najafi,
was particularly destabilising. That shock, after all the other things that had
happened, took away the last resilience of your spirit. You no longer believed
you could stay alive. You could not find hope in the future, only your own
death – in pain and isolation.
I don't like to think about this, about the mental illness that
made your suffering even more full of terror. I would prefer to see you as a
hero than as a victim. But in the end it was hard for you to tell what was real
and what was not. The false slogans of humanity that we buried you with had
anguished your mind. It was not only your body that was hurt and imprisoned. We
did this to your mind also. Until it was sick and broken and unsure and empty
of imagination. I feel so low to write this. Love Stephen
18 February 2016
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