Dear Khodayar you have stepped into my life and turned
everything on its head. You have taught me to see this country as a refugee
does, to hear this language I speak with different ears. Now there is no going
back for me. What I know from your words I can never un-know. You have widened
my mind and you have opened my heart. My safe house where I lived before, is
now an infinite sky with winter rain. Your words are so compelling that you did
this to me – I could not resist. You, who are so human, insisted that my own
humanity must grow. And you continue to insist and so my humanity must expand
even more in the manner you have shown. This is not easy, this is not
predictable, this journey you lead me on. I struggle to understand what is
happening and where to put my feet. But the certainties I used to reside in are
not there anymore. They are destroyed – not by your words but rather by the
inevitable knowledge that your words bring. So I have to search for where to be
amidst this confusion in my world. I have to continue in your example. What is
known can never be un-known. Love Stephen Clendinnen
